If u are given a chance, a chance to go back to one part of your life and never return. When will u choose? Even at that part of your life, what will u do. Will u do something different or something similar? Decisions i made in my different parts of life often leads mi to unexpected and undesired consequences. Not that i'm having a hard time currently, just that whenever i look back at things that i did, i kinda feels guilty or even embarrassing. Always unaware of feeling or things around me in whatever i did and say, always so insensitive and hurting someone. At that time, i might just be trying to have fun and be like who i am, only after quite sometime when i think about it. It doesn't feel right. People may just tell that whats over is over but impression that i left behind is still there, it won't change, won't disappear. Those that i harmed or betrayed, i won't even dare to look at them when i speak to them. The more i look, the more i fear, fear of things that i did or how they think of mi. Though i think that is quite late now for so many things and chance that is given to mi. It will takes more than apology or something more far beyond than apology to solve all this bad doing of mine. All i ask, is to be forgiven but how? What i've been doing now is to try not to think about it. I know escaping is not the way out but how? i could only juz say... Sorry to everyone that i betrayed or feel hurt by the words that i said... so sorry

All these gives mi a kind of fear, fear for history repeating itself lacks of confident in things and being with friends. It ends up making mi a bit sensitive when i miss out stuff that my friends did without mi. Starting to feel left out. I always trying my best to not to think too much.

There are only a few friends that i'm really comfortable to be with. Like Zi cheng Derong Ansel so long nv see them liao haha... for is ks, Zhi Heng and clique, Jun Wei and gang... Murong is don't need to say wan hahas

Though saying abt going back in time... it only works when u know wat will happen in the future, Without knowing wat will happen i might still do the same....Kinda sux and the truth sux most of the time