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Profile Name:Addy Gender:Male Age:19 this yr About Links RaInE FaLaLa LyNeTtE HuIyI ShU FeN ZiHeNg YoNgQiAnG NiCk JeAn Le ArIeLlE MeLlY De Coder's Cafe favour MSN emo ____ Credits Coding By Kelly Archives August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 |
Saturday, December 29, 2007 i can't believe i'm such an moron to go and smell pepper.....it felt so damn irritating thn anything...almost drop my nose... after ytd entry i went to slp....thn when morning i woke up everything is gone....think i'm too tired ytd tat mind got a bit out of hand....so things didn't get any worse after all....is abt myself... so 2dae back to the "No Life No life So Boring Life" style....a dream life style for every lazy bug...so Eat Play Sleep.......in fact i played the whole day....so ytd night i found out tat i'm very weaked minded at night....very vunerable to any feeling tat come into my mind...and give in easily.....so if at night i happen to talk any stupid staff to anyone plz forgive mi....if can act as if nth happen...which i think most of the ppl are best at..... been playing this game called Disgaea : Afternoon Of Darkness....is a story between the demon and Angel.....so the story abt the Netherworld in Chao becoz the ruler of the Netherworld, the Overlord is dead....so the Prince which is the main char called Laharl has been put to slp for 2 yrs.....so the King died during his sleep....and the Prince(actually a brat) intend to get the throne back.....in the midst of this throne war.....an trainee Angel called Flonne...is sent to killed the king which she didn't know is dead.....but she realise tat this Laharl has no love because he didn't feel sad abt his father death in fact his happy.......so this cute Angel decide to find out whether Demons have love in their heart or not and followed Laharl.......... i also find something funny abt this game.... Laharl is afraid of ppl being optimistic saying words lik "World Peace" the most dreadful word to him is "Eternal love" which almost killed him....and his afraid to see girls with sexy body...and he said to Flonne "with side note girls with flat chest have absolutely no effect to him" hahaha one of the funniest part.....
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 10:33 AM |
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Friday, December 28, 2007 i'm so scare right now...i'm so scare tat i will fall into the same hell as i did b4....i was lucky tat i managed to get out of it when i'm so deep inside....with the help of my best frenz..but this time if i do again is the end.....if i did no one can help mi anymore...not this time round....even the most trusted person i have can't get mi through this time....i juz managed to get a bitch out of my life now juz by stupid rumor another bitch came in to my life....i have to stop myself from falling into tat hell......or else i don know what will happen...... really got so tired this few days didn't bother to write out anything anymore...so when i'm not i will try to write something out
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 11:57 AM |
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Tuesday, December 25, 2007 Well....ytd got too wear out and too high after saying merry christmas around the MSN i kinda fell asleep...so basically ytd at De Coder's got a party which is really fun and tired i shouldn't say much abt it...cause i don rmb much.....i only rmb 2dae morning (tue morning) something really strange happen juz creep mi out alot...around 4.55i woke up at my Big bro room finding my right hand full of mosquito bite itch until cnnt so i went back to my own room to slp....nxt morning my right hand are clear of bites not even a dot.....thn whats nxt...the laptop and PSP are back to the place b4 i bring in to my big bro room.....can't longer tell which is dream or not lets not say anything back i realise i really can't stand girl crying...not tat i hate seeing it juz tat i will be lost don noe what to do when i see one...haix...not juz girl ppl also i can't stand juz tat girl will make mi more lost ....haix.... 2dae i found the 1st girl i liked so much...not in term of love but frenz....maybe not frenz something further but unrelated to love in fact i wanted to tell her tat long time ago but i didn't scare she will be hostile to me...chat to her is nice spill my heart out....well the only person i will tell her everything...no matter lame stuff or things hidden ....hahaha glad tat i met her don tink i can find another girl lik her.....though she doesn't know she can means this much to mi.....but i find her beautiful 2dae....and manage to tell her tat hope she doesn't get any wrong idea...think she won't....hahaha.....and tk u so much for being such a nice ***-*** so 2dae after work i went home while the rest enjoying their christmas at SENTOSA....for mi i watch I AM LEGEND with someone....so nice show worth watching and touching for girls perhaps i mean sad....and last thing Will Smith is cool and the rest find out yourself can't believe i wrote this for one hr ok 2dae after work
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 12:20 PM |
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Sunday, December 23, 2007 this morning i mean afternoon when i woke up i ask myself what is the date 2dae?.....everything b4 felt as though i'm dreaming....meaning i not totally awake all this time.....till 2dae or rather this 2 dae i keep sleeping tats y i got nth to write ytd.......so 2dae i felt so awake ....and everything i look back is clear now....face whatever i have to face.....forget abt whatever i have to forget....felt a bit brighter...... so tmr (now is monday) they will be going to Sentosa to have fun but i don want...firstly i got work to do secondly i don feel lik going......SENTOSA = So Expensive and Nothing To See Actually......even i want to go to beach i rather go east coast or west coast.....so have fun ppl....and thridly i don have to mood yet.... so ok i'm running out things to write
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 10:02 AM |
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Saturday, December 22, 2007 Actually i got nothing to writing for 2dae think i juz happen to know tat i too tired with too much thing needed a break
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 7:49 AM |
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Friday, December 21, 2007 this morning when i woke up....i felt as though i'm sick of this life....it was 10 something.....so i continue to lie on the bed hoping tat my days will juz past...until 3+ mood start to lik turn a bit better decide to wake up thn go online thn Andy talk to mi on MSN but really in the mood to talk so i juz entertain him.....from tat 3+ to 4+ i felt so lost juz lying on the sofa looking at the ceiling....empty mind....until abt 5 thn ihave to get ready for work.....thn ya go Newton 5th day at the De Coder's Cafe......so at the Cafe is the only time i felt so alive when there are ppl...so played game with them laugh with them...2dae i laugh so much tat i don rmb when is the last time i truely laugh out of fun.......though we are strangers but we are all human....so blend in quite well have a fun time...until 12+ i have to get to usual work lik clearing the cup and plate cleaning the sofa.......tats when i start to return to the same mood... thn...sometimes night....i felt so funny...tat i wanted to give up everything....frenz family but not my bed wanna to lie down there when i wake up i don wan to see anything i only wan to see the end....i don noe is it tat i'm too tired or side effect tat i lost something so important to mi b4 so suddenly or i juz stress out...felt as though i can't hang on anymore...thn nxt morning i don felt so much.....maybe i wan to try to lie on the bed for the whole day not doing anything except listening to songs tat i wan to listen......haix i can't say what is it anymore
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 10:54 AM |
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Thursday, December 20, 2007 Wah wanna to shout out loud somewhere.......getting too much thing in mind no space liao lah...sound as though i got stress...but i also what i stressed abt...haix...nvm ba...this blog will be my shout... sometime i feel lik wanting to fall from high height.....back landing but of course in a way tat i won't die...somehow feel tat is gonna to be fun....to mi signified fallen to hell....haha but i wanna to try so for the sake of fun... actually when on the way to library i got this very funny thought....i wanna to be blind for one month...i wanna to see how it feel lik to be blind not able to see the world but to juz feel and hear.......cause this kind of thing nobody will understand unless u r the victim this applied to almost everything in this world.........cause u r not the victim...so u won't unless u r the victim once....haix funny thought i got all the time...but thn if no write i also not happy for certain reason ok lah 2dae fourth day working at De Coder's Cafe....night shift 2dae sort of busy haix got a bit wear out.......thn in my shift happen to see one chio de call Cally not bad lah but thn hor haix....feel a bit unreasonable but whatever....so ok work till ten went Ansel hse rot...thn go meet sebas and Wilson talk abt things and encounter during work tat we don like...ok tats it i don wanna to say anymore thing haix haix haix
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 9:47 AM |
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Wednesday, December 19, 2007 somehow this feel day very stupid lah....i'm getting all kind of sickness back....juz got this feeling..i'm gonna to die young....1st thing every part of my organs are lik pain for at least 10 time a month tat doesn't include sex organ.....thn somemore weak heart.....plus easily blackout sometime when seat on a chair for too long thn stand up....eyes lik go blank thn leg go nua lik falling on to the ground....somebody call tat ping xue.....don really what is it but whatever...short life is better cause u suffer less.....althought ur life can be a happy life but no matter what u will suffered once in ur life... somehow this few 2dae getting a bit less tolerance to nagging.....in the past when my mom nagged at mi i usually don give it a damn...now whenever she nagged i lik ticking bomb...will explode anytime.....tat is one thing i don noe what is wrong with mi...now i know this have nth to do with her.....keep getting unwanted prob sian-ed.....but maybe it will went off someday..also 2dae i wait for my for half an hour+... in the past all the KNN CCB already out of my mouth liao but now......not even one swear word of my mouth......maybe i too angry to say anything...cause no matter what words i scolded can ease my anger....but haix i don know lost in my own life....AGAIN.... ok finally i reach the nxt epi of my life after the love epi now what......insanity epi no way my blog call hollow sanity...(empty sanity) how come still got sane.....ok i got a gd name....rebellious epi....... LIFE:;;;::: 3rd day at mr yap cafe.....so ya no ppl again until closing to the end of my shift thn got ppl somemore 2 chio bu out of 3....wah on a row lah keep seeing chio bu....ok lik only entertain myself nia alone see chio bu no fun....muz see with frenz thn fun haha thn after is the waiting for half an hour+ period....wah.....the anger juz keep building up....will lik walao....on at point of time i already DL to the max liao....but when see them i also sian liao loh no mood to angry liao or i don know lah....haix... after tat went to Airport to see someone i not very farmilar with is Mard....but whatever lah someone i happen to know....juz call it my frenz....thn when see her thn went home thn blah blah blah actually tat part is cersored cause if i were to write it up ppl will start to take whatever object tat is capable of murdering.....or assinate mi....so for the sake of my life cause i still want to have more fun so i can't yet.... thn i start to get this funny qn in my mind...if i can choose when i'm gonna to die.....when will it be?.....so ya maybe ppl will choose as long as possible or as short as possible for mi....i wanna to die nxt yr feb 1.....i guess is a nice day to die in....cause i knew by tat time i already have enough fun and thats it...the end....hahaha sounds as though i'm a crazy...but tay juz a thought...after all i scare of death so i wouldn't die so soon unless is for someone tat worth it
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 10:03 AM |
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007 i don noe how to start for 2dae but wah so happy 2dae.....is my luck turning ? i don noe i only know HAPPPPY......ok 1st thing 1st....after sending the girls back talking to them a bit abt got income no income got job no job.....gd chat....give mi a lot thought to write for 2dae hahaha ok one said working is for exp plus income...ok i agree to it but....this exp are juz...erm too little to become of a help in the future i don mean is totally useless but the time when this exp are needed are rare....because the exp we get were blind from the reality.....i saw the truth of reality...when last yr working at my bro there...even ppl are united in the office there always cold war...no juz ppl sabotaging each other or having or even office company between company....maybe i shouldn't say much abt it.....but personal view after all ok the other said work for the sake of income so that her parent won't control her by using money....ok tat sounds really erm....childish from the outsider view...cause i can't really say for her...as i don't know how she really feels abt it so outsider can't say much abt it but really lah can tell her parent care for her loh....maybe no really care but worry perhaps......so again personal thought...can't say much abt it..ha oook 2dae lucky....second day working at De Coder's Cafe frenz reading this tis come to the cafe when u r free ty...so 2dae at De Coder's a chio at work but didn't talk to her nice girl but look a bit pale...somehow...ok nvm thn met another chio bu play few game with her quite cute plus got figure...haha not bad 2 chio de liao 2dae...thn i met the thrid chio bu on the train total stranger....so on the way back home...i happen to sit beside her...look a bit bookish type....but not bad got figure as well...thn she was sleeping so i didn't really care at 1st until....her head lik keep swaying thn happen to land on my shoulder....haha....but i also not so bad lah won't take advantage...so i wake her up by shaking my shoulder.....haix felt a bit wasted but nvm lah as a gentleman this is way it is hahaha......sounded so noble........haha lol so after tat went to arena for 2 game of pool though i started asking for this game but too tired so only played 2 game in the end...until 11 mi Ansel and Andy went off to Ansel hse to rot...starting to use "rot" in replace of the word "wasting time" ...so we rot till 12? around there thn thn went to PM to eat supper with the same old same old long time no see (in fact less thn one week) bastards and bitches.....haha jk...they are sebas wilson clar vera yt....haha nice to see them again....though not very farmilar with Vera YT and clar but still gd to see them.....plus still miss out other guys in the usual gang...lik Kok Hui, Tl and He gang.....i know one is not in singapore for the other 2 i don noe....but still missed them.... and next is the best moment i've been waiting for....3 words to summrise...." IT IS OVER" finally i let go hahahahahaha....walao now mood so high yet sleepy...but know "IT" will be back anytime have to be careful if not back to emo period..... so now keep "IT" out of reach...how do i know....when sending her back home talking to her a bit walk her home somehow the feeling last tat i last time have is no longer there....it is over WWWOOOOO00000ooooooo.... now Wah peace no stupid feeling in my life anymore....for the period that i don't know what is wrong with me...i still don noe hope is longer there anymore...somehow i got this feeling this have nth to do with her....my own prob......whatever it is i finally ended one worried or rather a prob
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 10:02 AM |
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Monday, December 17, 2007 juz when i abt to get this nick call ROTtener i got a job phew... ok mixture of my thought and happening 2dae hahaha.......gonna to sound stupid and complicated OKKKKK....this morning or rather aftnoon i woke at 12...2dae a special day to mi...course is the 1st day of my new job....2dae shift happen to crush with Ansel with i meet up with him and go there.....thn i got this feeling Ansel is really bu shuang (unhappy) abt my working hr compare to him....his is 16 and mine is 28 intially....but i feeling wanting to give away not give is don wan my monday night shift...so I gave it to Ansel thn become 20 to 24 sounds better to mi.......so when i reach there...i finally got MY DE CODER'S uniform WOOOO0000oooo......no bad i lik it thn since my costumer so start to learn new game while learning Ansel start his 1st day as a kitchen stuff.....Ansel was doing something which was really so damn disgusting....Mr yap ask him to dug out the pile of left over crap from the sink thn i was curious i went in annnd it stinks lik hell....at 1st 3words keep floating out of my mind tat is " WHAT, THE and FUCK" it really stinks lik don noe what sia...lik somebody puke in there and shit there plus it is left there to rot for 2months tat is the smell lik......wah really....ccan't say ar will faint..b4 i did i went out reading rule of a game call Dogville....thn the smell start to spread now another 3 words "WA, LAO and A" start to cover my nose and read thn when they are done....Mr Yap give mi an order.....take what they have dug to the rubbish bin in the back alley.....now no words in my mind i try to stop my breath and walk as fast as i can to the back alley and throw the pile of crap off.....if i will to bring tat pile of crap right into their nose tat person will puke whatever he or she has eaten for ytd no matter is it out of their body or not...... so ya slack my way cause from 2 to 6 no customer at all juz keep playing and full timer coming for interview..... until thn Andy come for his night shift so i went home all ALONE so sad...plus tat is this person i am gonna to scold which i don noe who is it and there goes ( FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK TO OUTER SPACE HEAVEN TO WHOEVER GOD IS MAKING THE FUCK CB RAIN) the whole day juz keep raining lucky a kind lady give mi a cardboard to block the rain didn't turn out as bad as i expected....phew.... ya aftthat i went to meet Ken and KH to watch the Warlords....nice show for the beginning the fighting and the war is nice imagine 800 VS 5000 army and the 800 won with pure Morale no help with terrain....so wah style but until the further part of the show....the Evil Part of human will reveal themselves.....no matter of the peldge they made at first in the end none of them obey and the ending is .....i should not say....find out if u r interested....so watch it thn went home alone again haix kinda use to it already....thn on the way i saw someone tat resemble her but i noe is not with a guy at first i thought it is but on a closer it isn't.....but tat trigger something else in my messed up mind abt her.....i ask this qn to myself....what if next time u happened to see her with him....actually i ask myself b4 and i don noe how to answer....but now i noe....i will smile to myself and say "hi" to the both of them as if i'm their normal frenz....now i noe smiling do help mi but if won't make u feel better but it will make u feel not as bad as b4 smile from the heart will work better.....haha got a way to deal with emo....ha so basically tats all for 2dae......got chio bu to see tmr haha
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 7:59 AM |
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Sunday, December 16, 2007 i can't really say for 2dae cause i feel lik i letting go of her already so ya i'm happy but i still can't tell is it the end anot until the day carry on....nvm so be it....again 2dae is HAPPY ROTTING DAYYYY tis morning playing PSP playing until i fell asleep.....enough to show that how boring is it to stay at home so when Ansel msg mi i thn woke up and ask mi wan to go out...so i i ask pool game but he say don noe thn the rest lik he msg like no reply so ya i con't to rot rot rot....thn i decided maybe i cnnt be rotting anymore thn ask Kh Ken to watch warlords tmr....thn Mr Yap msg mi the time slot...when i see the time slot....i don know whether should i be happy or sad.....cause the time slot is Mon from 2 to 10 Tue and Wed 2 to 6 Thur 6 to 10 and Fri the worst 6 to 2AM.....at 1st i lik walao lik tat i no life liao lor....but when Ansel call mi i tell him the time slot he say one wk u can earn 130 if one month 520 ...come to think of it sounds gd but i wan my lifeeeee.....also i wan the money so so so i don noe what the feeling call lah...haix somemore start tmr.......lucky during 3 of the 5 day i am with either Ansel or Andy.....guess is alright..phew better appreciate this job see the rest of my de job like "wah so firece" is either they exchange mental for money and physical strength for money for mi i'm lucky...play my day out and interaction hahaha
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 7:12 AM |
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Saturday, December 15, 2007 心痛比快乐真实地 孤独比拥抱真实 this 2 phrases juz simply means sad is more true than happniess and loniness is more true thn being with frenz or the person u love.....in simple term it juz says the bad thing are more impactful than the happy things...to mi true enough all the happy thing happened to mi i can forget them fast enough thn the sad things happened to mi....juz by my prob with her it can cling onto mi from April till now.... haix....but now still on the midst of un-clinging.....close to sucess.. funny to mi enough...in the midst of letting go of her i told myself alot of things....i told myself i have to cut off whatever relationship with her no matter frenz or person i juz happen to know or even her name a complete....which is impossible unless i had an car accident and i survive and memory loss....so do the possible.....with my best...ok here comes the funny part.....whenever i saw her and on msn....i got this erm....urge to wan to talk to her...any topic will do but the main point is i missed the time when i can talk to her in the name of juz frenz...maybe not frenz yet but juz unfarmilar frenz.....the point of time when i have no interest in her.......don even noe y hahaha....but for now from what she knows what is happening to mi is like already close to impossible.....cause if i will to do so she will be naive and thought that "i still lik her wan to have her back" haha no way.....tats the only thing i don lik abt her....being too naive...lik last time i wanna to ask her out to talk and settle everything........and tats the kind of reply i got....which makes mi so damn fed up......ok now probs comes in and sit down and says "is ok tat u want things to return back to the way it was with her help.....but she don't wan to" hahaha i'm a moron (To reader : got a bit short circuit) Life: started at 2.55 Mood:all right Day:Emo ceremony thn rotting hrs thn still rotting away have a really funny dream this morning....or rather this morning...i dreamt that i am using msn talking with frenz i can't really tell is who but i rmb the name it reads "Klo Frng, Aesel, Ynn Tgng, Ynng Qanig... still got somemore i can't rmb who is it...so in the dream i don't know what are they talking to mi abt...but i know i'm replying everything keep hearing the msn sound....when i woke up i heard the msn sound again so i thought " is dream sleep longer ba" but thn i realise im lying on the bed...this is no dream already...thn i look at my comp ppl are talking to mi on msn for how long i don noe...(i leave my comp switch on overnight)..... so when i woke up they are talking abt another chalet...Oh give mi a break...from the 1st chalet when i went home i sleep through a day from the 2nd chalet i suddenly become very emo from what reason i don even know...the 3rd chalet ??? scare i will die better not go oh ya an add-on to my dream which is also the cause i woke up as it become a nightmare....the person name Ynn Tgng died.....where is the horror the person still talking on msn when he or she is dead...sounds really stupid... so after that i rot by watching anime till 8 when i am suppose to go Andy hse with juz Ansel and mi..when i reach there Andy is not at home still at Bugis so Alright i got it down not berserk yet so i went home 1st while telling Ansel tat Andy will be home by abt 9 and i told Andy to call mi when he At home....so Ansel decide to come my hse 1st playing PSP thn we wait and wait and wait until 10 i decided to call him .....he is already at home ....so i was CCB nv call mi thn he say" after u call mi KF says is cancelled" alright thn i wasn't angry with anyone but i am so damn fed up thn i couldn't do anything but to curse to whoever lah..... i nv say name ok one long stupid day juz lik tat...JUZ LIK TAT GONE
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 9:11 AM |
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Friday, December 14, 2007 Again i didn't spend sometime to think abt my life...all i did 2dae was to go to the De Coder's Cafe and learn new game while Andy and Ansel learn to cook....so 2dae i like already learn 11 1/2 game......quite alot sort of too much for mi to rmb all so is quite vague unless i started playing thn i will rmb the game.....as for the half of the game is called Arkham Horror....that is a streagy board game is a nice game but the horror....represent the rule...there is so much rule to abide so the ppl playing are trying to work out trying to get the game right....so if u r able to master tat game....the rest of the game shouldn't be any prob to learn but the game took ask 6hrs to play plus we lost the game...is a teamwork game...but nice so thing carry on 2dae i didn't rmb her gd news to mi after this 2dae somehow time really start to slow down so much for mi but really getting tiring...haix
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 11:54 AM |
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Thursday, December 13, 2007 i didn't think much abt my life 2dae so skip to 2dae happening......2dae happening is alot more fun and interesting thn any other day i've been through.... so 2dae went to a job interview at at cafe named " De Coder's Cafe " opened by my sec 3 formal teacher Mr Yap, Yap Yew Hing.....well is no juz any normal cafe but cafe that has a lot of game...ranged from card game to board game...+ the board are very interesting so when going there to interview they comprise of 2 "department' the kitchen and the game facilitor....so at 1st i was thinking maybe i can try to do kitchen but on the other hand i think i might want to try something more..interactive...so i going so the outside which the game facilitor...what are my job? serve food and drinks, and teaching of some board game to the customer(did i spell correctly?) so it will involve a bit more talking and more things to learn.....best + worst part? i have to learn the game and they have 100++ games to learn provided some are popular games lik monopoly UNO....blah x3 so during the busy time mi sebas Andy and Wil + Ansel(already working there)started playing the games there 1st game played toooo complicated we sort of skipped it thn comes a card game which involve mind game whoever are the wan nian jian chen(万年奸臣) bascially the most cunning one with innocent face will won somehow didn't expect to be mi....sort of funny that i labelled myself as 万年奸臣 not a nice labelled at all but whatever...thn continue by a another game call Cleopatra somewhere around there is a game thn start building things will earn money at 1st i thought i lost again i won.....lucky wahaha....lol..... thn when is like nobody around (customer) Mr Yap taught mi and sebas and someone i juz knew there call yue feng(nice name eh)a new game that i can't rmb the name but the game require too much thinking tat i lost but the game i really interesting.... while we were playing the game, the kitchen trainee which is Ansel(juz transfered) Andy and Wil keep making drinks....while the rest of us playing game have to drink....i have lik drink 3 cups of Latte 2 cups of Mocha and 1 Cup of Milo....i felt lik a moron drinking so much and got myself having Headache.....haix Orh B for being Cheapstake......... when on the way home i was lik being torture on the bumpy bus ride keep having the thought " i'm gonna to puke! " but the other part of my brain which unharm by the excess coffee tell mi hang on.....keep going on for lik abt 1hr when i finally reached JP i couldn't talk on like no strength to get up from the seat almost dying....even when i managed to get up i can't hardly stand on my 2 feeble leg...i like staggered back home thn somehow feel much better after drinking my mom chicken ginseng soup...phew tat y i'm able to write this entry come to tink of it...this whole day i nv think abt her uptill now WOHOOOOO happy tat i can forget for 1 day this mean still on my way to forget her YES!!! looking foward a beautiful life juz have to hang on a bit more
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 8:27 AM |
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007 read the last line b4 reading anything in the bracket (heartache badly 2dae.....not mentally but physically keep getting scared by the silent hill game...guess i'm a bit weak-hearted..haha..even though i completed it 2dae but still i don really understand the story..i only know it is a human scarifice sort of ritual...to summon the so call their god and the summoner choose to scarifice her daughter by buring her alive and the main char sort of save her from the fire but she is still dead but the soul is still in the midst of the ritual and the main char to stop and blah blah blah.....the story goes on....until silent hill 5 thn still i don really know what i've been doing and what is going on with mi keep getting all kind of feeling lik as if everything come at the same time.....who know how does it feel lik when u hate and love at the same time....or when u r feeling high and yet u r low or u feel happy but still emo...what is this!? don ask mi i don even know myself.... thought might be same side effect that i get away from her ? can't be i don really care so much now... so whenever i look back at the time when i liked her so much and she doesn't even know a damn thing abt it....is kinda fun or rather something worth looking back though she doesn't know a thing but in my own world if i'm able to talk to her i'm happy enough if i walk her home i will be haha smiling to myself on the way home soon lik my so called " movitation "......movitation to what i don noe but i know i m having happy life till things got a "bit out of hand" thn i lose it.......hahaha come to think of it i'm a fool... but nvm nvm nvm things have to come and go nth is forever but there is always a however telling mi to cherish it..... no matter what is it...and that will be the last thing i nv cherished...) tell the truth i don't know what the hell am i writing so far reader can ignore it if u wan(provided if i have any)haha Mood : mono neither happy nor sad 2dae actually part the gang wanted to play basketball but i was late due to my bad habit of unable to wake up in the morning until 11 or 12....by the time it already started....thn so PS lah a bit guilty liao....but haha thn change of plan go Andy hse rot instead of rotting in our own hse....thn do almost everything there poker mahjong(somehow starting to lose interest) or PSP until 2.XX thn but lunch with Wil.....thn i went home 1st cause my mom started nagging at me already...so i went home 1st calm her down thn ran off again haha... thn go Andy hse continue rotting...rot and rot and rot until organs are exposing already YQ thn come........ok lah better thn 5 ppl rotting now + 1.....so until dinner time lik around 9.XX thn go home dinner thn rot again until i write this entry.....now? is lik 4.20 need to SLp le and thats all for 2dae.......looking forward the morning wish that when i wake up every little bloody annoying things will get the fucking hella of my life...phew.......
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 11:46 AM |
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007 for once ppl tell mi human are evil while some say human are kind in nature...but i felt that human are evil in nature which include myself and everyone i noe....cause would anyone help a stranger without a second thought....every kind act the person did is to hope to have something in return not money but maybe any kind of relationship....if a person did a kind act without having second thought and don't give it a damn about whatever return they got...so is difficult to tell whether the person is gd or evil....best thing to do keep the evil under ur mask or control...like mi....keep thinking of evil thing to do can't say obviously but i juz afraid i would did anyone of it one day.....is even more scary if the thought is overflowing haix...whats wrong with mi???!!!damn it!! someone told mi this told mi that actually nth juz wan to start the 2dae happening a bit different if i not i'm boring myself keep starting with "well 2dae happening...etc" thn 2dae went to visit Andy tat sick guy not saying his pervert but ill...so when his hse with Ansel only thn thinkinh tat the rest will come but nada... none did except sebas come at a later time...so i went his hse...actually his quite fine but still need rest i guess....so i and him and Ansel playing Poker until i had enough thn i started playing silent hill:origin silent hill is a boring game to most of the ppl that are lazy to kill a bit brain cell and lik i say the atmosphere they created with the BG music is great....cause that is a way to know whether are there any demon around u...through a radio which make a kind of static sound when u r near....when the situtation got too safe, ur mind goes a bit wild thinking tat did the creepy BG music blend in to the radio sound.....plus i kana scared by the game a bit... there is this part where u r in a theatre with a lot of puppet with creepy face on it.... u can tell the colour of the the puppets compare to the BG...so is an item of a interest at 1st i saw one i keep telling my frenz this puppet sure move one but don noe when tats y is scary....met the 1st nth happening until i past by the second one...show a small cutsence....thn the puppet will try to strangle you... and by the way the puppet is hanging upside down...thn i kana stunned using the sledge hammer...keep whacking and started scolding stuff lik KNN CCB......and i realise a gd reason girls playing this game will freak out....there is this portal through any mirror to transfer to the demonic realm where all the bloodthristy disgusting demon were and they call this realm"the other world" best part? it is always the Girls' Toliet Mirror this keep going on until sebas came... and my left eyes start to "flicker" showing bad omen... is whatever the chinese says so i thinking to time to go home...truth enough and unlucky enough i saw HER....walao lik i don noe how to describe....i can't possibly show a DL face lik "walao so sui " too rude so wave my hand to she and her and him..and say BB....after tat i feel lik hitting the wall but i don noe reason thn i told myself calm down abit relax is not so bad thn mood down.....once again i don't know what is my prob y would i keep thinking tat way....... maybe i hoped i can take it as seeing a normal frenz lik i use to c my pri sch frenz........nth special nth happen nth at all.....troubled like my usual life erm...almost forgot this if Bann Vei u r reading this come out man don be a rainy and sunny home boy missing u already....
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 7:45 AM |
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Monday, December 10, 2007 right b4 writing this entry...i was in the toliet running cold water over my head thinking what to write for this entry when i finish thinking i went out siting at my usual corner...then i forgot what i want to write rmb a bit but very scattered.... Well 1st half of the day i went to Jurong east with the usual but only part of the gang...some to collect salary from their work some having lunch and some went to play pool then i saw her...leave her aside for the time being cause i started to feel disturbed afterward....thn after my erm....lunch then i went to play pool with the rest until only mi, Ah bug and yq..while the rest went home for what reason i'm not too sure...wil went home to take belt and shoes(his wearing slipper) for the girls i don't know....thn we played pool till like 4 thn went to the control station to wait for the rest of the gang tats when i start to care...starting to bother mi WTF...got a bit of tear but came from my yawn~~ i guess.....can't juz face her....so at 1st i was intending to went home juz like that bet she won't notice whats wrong unless she is not a complete blur sotong.....but but but.... on the other hand if juz leave lik this it will somehow dampen the atmosphere a bit more perhaps....though i don really see myself as part of the gang.......but for the sake of tis frenz.....take the pain to carry on...if it was b4 "O" i would have went off silently...i even try to cover that i'm moody or rather emo....phew..what a day from going bugis eating dinner to on the way home the pain juz keep adding on adding not even the silghtest sadness i've shown...so i sounded so noble in fact i'm a complete bloody moron...doing this kind of thing... for the second thought i ask myself " what the bloody hell am i doing?" haix.....up till now i still don noe what is wrong with mi okok maybe i should stop talking abt this anymore...erm....ever since after the chalet the gang is like missing 2 person...one is TL( don't know what happened to her) and Andy....Andy is like sick after the Penang trip...so ya the gang is like quite peaceful without him...but in the fact i missed his awful singing....so if u r reading this get well fast alright. erm... in Bugis when i by past the gift shop i was thinking"oh ya christmas is coming" so i started to think maybe i should buy something but for who... i started to think for a moment....definitely not for her but the other her...sounds like they are closely related but they are not....no special relationship with her but only like to talk to her....so tks her for listening so much of my crap.......so when chosing the present i took quite a bit of time...cause she is not the kind that will like soft toy unless it is Flounder or Sebastian....so bought a card and a present a small present.... what i'm doing now drinking my mom cooking still the best.....
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 7:32 AM |
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Sunday, December 09, 2007 to tell the truth my mind hasn't been working well this few days......nv really give a second thought abt what i'm doing or what i wan to do....feel lik i'm dreaming...perhaps i keep it working for too long plus troubled by so much things no matter friendship, family and love(no really love juz can't think of a good word for it)....nv really give it a rest...even for now i not too sure what i'm writing haix....need a break......or rather force myself to have the break like i said not thinking so much so nothing to write for my thought 2dae Erm...all right 2dae happening is somehow hard to discribe...so to keep it short... i'm running around Orchard and City Hall with the usual gang...at 1st interview but wrong location..thn buy shirt not 2dae for mi.....thn 1st time eating at Pastamania...quite nice but expensive as well...Erm....only thing i bought is Royce White Chocolate....so nice song ar......1st time eating white choco tat taste so good.....no word to describe is juz too good... so on the way home kinda not feeling so well...like want to faint liao maybe i too tired le....but when i reach home....i'm awake! funny....whatever it is i finally pass a day...is lik...6 or 7 days i haven't seen her...obviously is nth bad in fact it helps...tot might see 2dae luckily i didn't.. phew
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 8:59 AM |
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Saturday, December 08, 2007 sometime i admire ppl tat can cry easily.....crying doesn't seen so bad all the time....sometime when ppl are having sad things in their heart tat they can't say...crying is one of the way tat they can relief.......or tell somebody that understand well enough tat what is happening to you.....but for mi.? i can't cry no matter how hard i try not even one drop of tear....almost is when i Yawn~~~;O....so alternate way...though it doesn't help as much as crying but still it helps ty guys who know what is going on... at 1st to forget her have to stop seeing her...so someone tell mi ' is ok time will heal very thing ' ya i believe it heals but it start healing when she is not in my sight...but she is almost around all the time when i went out with my frenz...so ya i thought of isolating myself... but i overlook something....this bunch of frenz are the price i have to pay for my own friggin mistake that i make to lik her...however, the price is too high.....in order th get rid of the bitter i have to give up the sweet as well.....for this, i rather live among the bitter with the sweet.....some bunch of bastards that i juz can't give up for the sake of such things...no matter what frenz are juz something that is hard to let go.......haha kinda strange that i said this kind of things ha...is not lik the usual mi.../... funny? can't rmb what happen in the morning....erm..........ya movie....almost forgot....i watch the Golden Compass with Dr, Kf and Ansel...well nice show but not as gd as Enchanted....somehow still early to said so cause there will still be Golden Compass 2, 3 and perhaps 4.....kinda of lazy to tell the story line thn pool game afterward.....at arena nth much there juz pool game
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 8:17 AM |
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Friday, December 07, 2007 MOOD 2DAE: not bad at 1st dampen in the middle thn not bad again is always so nice and so cooling to sit on my little "corner" in the living room with the window open chilling breeze from the monsoon with the laptop, PSP, HP, and MP3 by my side kind of gd life expected right after O lvl...but i know tis kind of life won't last....when school reopen no matter where i go,,tis kind of life will disappear so better cherish now while i can try to slp as late as possible or else i don noe when it is over when is gonna to return y mood dampen in the middle i don't really wan to say the reason...cause ppl will make mi look so bad sound so bad lik i'm the bad guy...is lik ppl judge thing from the surface, and nobody would even give it a damn a spare a thought for victims under such judgement...and i''m already facing one in class... lucky i don noe anything until i realise at the last day of school and best part? i'm out of tis ppl sight...so happy right now....what they know? they nth and assume whatever they tot is right....someone once told mi this is reality... fuck the reality.....well there are still ppl tat don judge thing tis way luckily....so ya ty so much for those trying to understand what is happening to me...appreciated 2dae? come on i don really wan to rmb 2dae....last thing to rmb ty guys for calling mi for pool game....though a bit feel lik spoiling the atmosphere when i suddenly walk away lik tis..... Erm forgetting something.........ya anyone wan to watch "I AM LEGEND" website of "I AM LEGEND" >>>http://iamlegend.warnerbros.com/
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 8:09 AM |
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Thursday, December 06, 2007 hahaha.....don noe am i out of my mind or what can't no longer tell....my mood started to go lik the weather 2dae start to rain thn stop start to rain thn stop i don noe what is it lah...but mostly is bad no matter my mood or health feel a bit sick...ok maybe not so bad i guess i started playing this game call silent hill origin....is quite nice Konami sure noe how to create horror RPG game with great chilling atmosphere it kind of got me friggin mi out so nice game for horror lover after all slient hill origin is the beginning of off the silent hill series... so i haven played far enough to tell the story.. the game is more of brain craking horror well nth for 2dae actually a lot more happened 2dae but is really unhappy don feel lik saying any of it
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 8:19 AM |
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Wednesday, December 05, 2007 oook...finally...somehow....i think....mood start to turn slightly better after not seeing her for 2days....guess juz the right method i'm using but i think it could start to cut down chances going out with my frenz a lot....well...tks a few guys who ask abt mi.. what i really need right now tks alot..but i'm fine i hope......haix guess even the weather are playing pranks on mi besides my feelings...whenever i'm feeling sad is sunny whenever my mood start to turn better is raining...what the hell is going on.... ok....being sad and happy do have their advantages...when i'm sad,it blinds my fear and things tat i usually care...no longer...when mood turning better start to set my mind straight starting to think abt those thing...can't really say think..is haunted instead. 2dae happening? afternoon? wil call mi for a pool game at 1.30 and it pulled like a rubber band until 3.5X but i'm fine with it....actually. erm.....tks for the pool game turn my mood to a better bright side maybe treat u guys for lunch one day if i have the money..what else? ya the last entry..is purely from the annoying feeling i'm keep getting and starting to go DL abt it...though feel a bit ...erm..offencesive but ya is the truth from my view... erm...watching movie aftward(Enchanted) erm.....ty for the "small" talk i needed friend (if u r reading and noe who i m refering to) sorry if i somehow bored u noe u wouldn't mind ok nth else for 2dae......oh ya read blood in my blog link if u r free tks
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 8:40 AM |
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Monday, December 03, 2007 for the past few day time seem really short but a lot of things happens.....ever since after the chalet few days ago i don noe what the friggin hell is wrong with me...i really don noe but i don wan to talk anything abt the past is too hurt can't look on the bright side...i start to think y does she even exist....her existance is not a fault but my stupidity....so what now keep getting the fucking feeling tat i don know what is it whenever i saw her or anyone mention her....feeling sad but not even one tear feeling angry don know what is the reason....wanted to hate someone...who? i don noe.....at most i can any hate myself....at 1st tot of meeting out to talk to her hoping to get rid of the feeling but......"go to hell" the kind of reply she gave thought she didn't say it out.....now? bet she forget everything already.....what left? last resort....the last thing tat i really don wan to use.........goodbye all my frenz..... hope i can forget her....after few months of isolation............... but i will still continue blogging not saying tat i'm dead nor the blog
Addy wrote down Thoughts @ 9:05 PM |
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