I think i should always start my blog with, "Its been quite sometime since i last wrote my last entry". True enough anyway.

Recently has been really emotional, little things like watching Wall-E i already feel like crying. Crying makes me feel weak so i try not to. Reason for bring so emotional may be that i'm just so sick of JC life. Friends and family who sees me will always ask "Why you so sian?" and i will ask them this question "How to not feel sian when u are always doing things that u don't like for so many years". So i'm determined to find out things or jobs so that i won't feel so miserable in the future.

And there are people like my brother or even my mother say is hard to find something like that don't waste your time go and study. I was pretty pissed when i heard that. Is like how can u call pursuit dream a waste of time. If u don't have dream or never reach it, then don't prevent the rest from attaining them. It is very screw up to think this way. They always act like they understand how i feel and tell me to get good grades for your result so that u can find your dreams afterward.However as far as good grades can get u almost anywhere, ya almost. There are places where even good grades cannot get u to. So what do they know about grades. Grades should never be the gauge to determine your future cause good grades does not mean good work efficient.
What if all u can do is to memories, when u go to the workplace, mostly u r to do things only the boss ask u to instead of thinking what to do. When that happens, it just means that u r pretty much mindless or at least i will feel that way.

For the past 2 months, i tried taking video for sports events. Pretty fun but i got this feeling that it isn't what i want to do. Anyway, i learn a couple of things and hear about reality. The reality is that there are some teachers who have this 'ivory tower' and think that they are tall and mighty? It happens when my friends taking video of a badminton game and have this list on whether which court is playing what game. So some HOD took her list, when my friend ask about it, this HOD said,"U r here to film the game how can u not know anything". Well if not for the reputation and good manner i guess my friend would have fuck her upside down. Educator living off taxpayer money yet thinks they are some big fuck. HOD with higher pay simply makes them bigger fuck. Educator of Singapore is not up to standard, not talking about the teaching skill but about their behavior and mindsets toward teaching. Simply because of some iron rice bowl they have doesn't they can do whatever they want. As much as student and teachers can have fun in the midst of learning, mindset of the teachers should be more humble instead of some ivory tower that makes the student look ignorance so that they appear smarter. Is delusional for them to think this way. I think Goh Keng Swee creates a good education system for Singapore. I guess it is mainly the Ministry Of Error and the Educator who screw up the whole system.

Despite so many things around me really makes me feel very sian. The least i could do? Enjoy every little things in life